Just Visiting and Still Looking

Some time ago (maybe a week, maybe a year) you found yourself “just visiting and still looking.”  It wasn’t intentional, it just seemed to happen.  That is, it just seemed to happen after the incident that you prefer not to think or talk about.  And so you began to just visit church; and find yourself still looking for a church you can call home.

For some of you, the change was gradual.  After the incident you found yourself pulling back from involvement in church activities and commitments.  Soon you found yourself sitting further and further away from people that you knew at church.   And after awhile, you found yourself with reasons to skip church until you stopped going all together.   One of your reasons: the feelings, the emotions that stirred inside of you when you think back to the incident.  There are a few of you who abruptly stopped attending church after the incident.  The pain of seeing the person (or people) involved seemed too great to bear.  It seemed easier to just stay home and watch church on television.   Then one day you decided to venture out again, to visit a few churches.  When asked, “Is this your church home?” you reply, “I’m just visiting.  I just haven’t found a church that feels like home yet.”

Can we talk for a minute….about the incident?   Let me first say that I am one that can truly understand your pain.  I’ve been there.  And let me also say that there is hope that the pain will subside one day.  It took time, but God Himself healed my heart; and turned a mess into a message of hope.  Because of what God did for me, I’ve been on a journey to find you.  I want to share with you what God spoke to me about our common enemy’s purpose for the incident; and how the incident has been used to damage your life.  I promised God that I would dedicate my life to looking for you, yes YOU. 

The blogs that have been posted, “Finding the road to healing after experiencing friendly fire (part 1 and 2)” and the book written “Seeing In the Spirit Understanding the Battle”, were written for you.  God has sent a few of us on a mission to find you, and others like you.  He wants to bring healing to your wounded heart and spirit so you can once again take your place and find your church home.

He’s been looking for you, and so have I.

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Building bridges of understanding with our words

 

Have you ever thought about the words you use in conversation and how they might be received when you talk?  Our words can either draw us closer to someone or push us further apart.  Although we may speak to each other in the same native language we interpret words based upon the lens of our background and experiences.  And as a result, our words can either build bridges leading to understanding or chasms that deepen confusion.

So what can we do?  Does it mean we have to police every word spoken?  Absolutely not!  But what it does mean is that we need to listen to each person’s heart.  Sometimes I sit silently and listen to the conversations around me.  What seems to happen more often as people talk is each person trying to get a point across (or talking at the other person) instead of listening to their heart (to build a bridge of understanding).  What does it mean to listen to someone’s heart?  I believe it means to listen to (and hear) the words that are not being spoken, the meaning behind the words chosen.

Yeah, I can hear it now.  “That’s just too much work!”  I believe its more work to try and clear up a misunderstanding that develops because we were speaking one thing and the person we were talking to was hearing another.  Think back to a time when you were having a “heated” discussion with a friend.  As you were talking, you sensed the emotions in the conversation ratcheting up a notch with each word.  This wasn’t your intention, but it seemed like your friend just didn’t understand the point you were trying to make.   The point you were trying to make was found in the words behind the words.  It was the unspoken meaning in your heart.

I’m just as guilty as anyone else when it comes to needing to step back, take a deep breath, stop talking and listen to the heart of the person speaking to me.  The next time you find yourself trying to get your point across, try this (and if you’re like me it won’t come natural the first time):  stop talking and listen to the heart of the person speaking.

When I listen to someone’s heart I’m able to change the words that I use in my conversation with them to words that build bridges of understanding.

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Built for connecting, starving for significant relationships

I’ve sometimes pondered this question: Are there people who are starving for significant relationships?  We are built for connecting to and depending upon each other.  I believe there are ways that we connect that allow us to build relationships that develop a sense of being on this journey called life together; and ways of connecting that more easily perpetuate the trend of people who are starving for significant relationships. 

I decided to do a little research, which lead me to a 2006 article in Christianity Today titled “Look at All the Lonely People: A radically old way to reach out to a friendless culture.”  This article provided a look into a societal trend that “More and more Americans are starving for significant relationships.”  The article goes on to state that “Increasingly, those whom we consider close friends—if we have any—are household members, not people who ‘bind us to community and neighborhood.’  Our wider social connections seem to be shriveling like a turkey left too long in the oven.”  WOW, “…..close friends if we have any…,” what a statement! 

Think about it.  For many, their close relationships are with the people they live with.  But what about people who live alone?  As the article points out there is a segment of our society that does not have anyone that they consider to be a close friend.  What’s a close friend?  My definition of a close friend is a relationship that develops a sense of being on this journey called life together, where we risk an emotional association. 

Social events and gatherings are often thought of as ways to bring people together to build connections.  At these events we tend to move from person to person having “snap shot” conversations providing a Polaroid picture glimpse of ourselves.   It’s difficult to have a substantive conversation in a crowded room full of people.  And if you are like some people, you leave those gatherings wanting more, something of greater depth and substance.

The question that I ask is if people want greater depth and substance to their conversations and relationships, what’s stopping them from doing that?  Here is my theory and it’s really simple.  We need opportunities to allow people to be real that creates a sense of safety; and teaches how to have healthy relationships.  You see, we are taught how to do most everything except one of the most important things:  how to develop healthy, significant relationships with others.

Here is my call to action.  Let’s think out of the box and create opportunities that provide a safe place to learn how to develop substantive, fruitful, healthy, significant relationships.  Let us learn how to build connections and relationships that develop a sense of being on this journey called life together.

I’m up for the challenge!  How about you?

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Isn’t it GREAT when you have someone you can count on

Do you have someone you can count on (or call on) in a time of need?  Are you that someone for another person?  Do you have the ability to help someone who is in need?  I know I’m asking a lot of questions, but stay with me…..I am going somewhere with this.  Let me take a few minutes to paint the picture of a few images I am wondering if you see around you. 

People arrive at work to find that their manager is holding an emergency meeting with their team at noon.  They are trying not to be apprehensive, but can’t help wondering what the meeting is about.  Noon arrives, they’re herded into a conference room with their co-workers; and hear the news that their jobs are being eliminated due to budgetary cuts.  Their thoughts turn to how will they make ends meet?  How will they find a new job in THIS economy?  There are people they know that have been out of work for over a year…. 

This is not what anyone hopes for, yet if they do find themselves in this situation it’s at this time they find themselves needing someone to count on.   What does that mean, “someone to count on?”  It means being able to listen or offering advice (when asked, not unsolicited).  It might be buying a box of pampers or baby formula or a package of meat when you’re doing your shopping; and giving it to someone with a note that says “thinking about you.”  Or, maybe it’s keeping your eyes and ears open for work opportunities that match the skills of someone who has just lost their job. 

Being someone to count on is about building connections and relationships that stand the test of time, weather the storms of life, allows each of us to shine through what we do best; and develop a sense of being in this journey called life together. 

Let’s all become someone to count on!

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Finding the road to healing after experiencing friendly fire, Part II

This article is continued from Linda Garrett-Johnson’s article, “Finding the road to healing after experiencing friendly fire, Part I.”

Finding the road to healing is the start of the process of repairing the damage done to relationships at work, with family and in our churches.  But before we look at how to find and access this road, let’s talk about the impact friendly fire has to the church specifically when we have ‘casualties’ or ‘walking wounded.’ 

God meets needs and works through His people.  Each of us has been created with a unique purpose with a specific plan for our life; and we have been given gifts (that must be developed and refined) to fulfill it.  And as it states in I Corinthians 12:18 (NIV), “God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.”  In other words, God predetermined before our birth our role in His master plan (Jeremiah 1:5) and how our gifts would be used.  When we leave the church or disconnect ourselves from other Christians because of a painful relational ‘friendly fire’ experience it leaves a void, because our role is empty, our gifts missing.  When we are a part of church family, but are not allowing God to fully work through us and use the gifts He placed in us, it leaves another type of void.  It’s like having a hand with a finger that is not fully functioning.  The impact is that collectively the body of Christ is not as effective at advancing God’s master plan to “seek and save that which is lost” (Luke 19:10 NLT).

Finding the road that leads to healing and taking our place in the church home (the body of Christ) starts by understanding the primary reason our common enemy uses ‘friendly fire’ as a tool (weapon) within the body of Christ: to render us ineffective for use by God.  One of the ways we find the road to healing and connection is by way of the path of forgiveness.  Forgiveness turns on the switch that lights the path to healing.  Forgiveness is what we do and it not contingent upon a response from the other person; although God requires us to forgive others (Matthew 18:21-35).  Forgiveness does not necessarily mean that a damaged relationship will be fully restored.  Forgiveness is first between us and God because we forgive someone from our heart. 

Love is the power by which we access the road to healing.  And I can hear it now, “You’re asking me to love the person who hurt me?”  Love in this case is an action or behavior.  I remember having many candid conversations with God about my feelings after my ‘friendly fire’ experience.  My feelings at the time did not change the fact that as a part of God’s family my action of love toward those who hurt me meant I would not be keeping a “record of wrongs” (I Corinthians 13:5). 

When we turn on the switch (forgiveness) and the power (love) begins to shine light on the path it allows God to begin the process of healing our wounded heart.  The road to healing, by way of forgiveness and acting in love, allows God access to our heart to plant in it the desire to once again find our place and connect to other and the body of Christ.

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Finding the road to healing after experiencing friendly fire, Part I

Have you ever had an unpleasant experience with someone from your church, work or a relative that left you feeling confused, deeply hurt or disillusioned?  Well, I have a name for this type of experience: friendly fire.  The easiest way to describe ‘friendly fire’ is to say that it occurs when someone we know seems to attack us with their words and behaviors.  Simply put, ‘friendly fire’ occurs when we direct negative actions or words (weapons) at each other.  ‘Friendly fire’ is synonymous with gossip, rumors, shunning, and cliques; and often results in offended and emotionally wounded people.

One of the most damaging results of friendly fire is when someone, because of a painful relational experience, withdraws from others; and more importantly decides completely remove themselves from spiritual, social, work or family settings.  I identify these individuals as ‘casualties.’  There are others who express feelings of isolation and alienation from friends, family, co-workers or members of the church they attend who I identify as ‘walking wounded.’ 

For many, finding the road that will take them through the process of individual healing is an important part of remaining connected or reconnecting to people.  I feel fortunate that after I had a ‘friendly fire’ experience several years ago at the church I was attending I did find the road to healing, which kept me from leaving Christianity altogether.  This road is available to anyone, they just need to know how to find and access it. 

Continue reading this article at, “Finding the road to healing after experiencing friendly fire, Part II.”

"Seeing In the Spirit Understanding the Battle" by Linda Marie Garrett

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2010 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.

Harness and Unleash the Power of Working Together

Each of us individually is uniquely designed with skills and talents that ultimately translate into a resource that can be utilized by others. (Romans 12:3-8). This is true of organizations, whether they are for-profit or non-profit, community-based or faith-based. When the focus is on understanding how resources are interdependent there is the ability to see the work of one organization as complementary to that of another. We need only look at the components of a computer or a car as examples of resources that are interdependent; and how the companies that manufacture each component complement one another.

The ability of an organization or company to effectively work or partner with another is centered in: 1) their capacity to identify their interconnections, 2) their willingness and skill to collectively chart and execute a coherent course of action, and 3) their ability to create an environment that encourages working together as a unified force. However, this is not as simple or easy as one might think.

To identify interconnections there must first be a clear understanding of the uniqueness of each organization. What is the niche or role that each organization is filling? How is that niche or role complementary to other organizations? There must also be a willingness to work or partner together; and the presence of skills and organizational capacity necessary to effectively do so. How do the people within the organization work together? What systems or processes are in place that encourages working together within the organization? Beyond a focus on financial gain, what core values are present within each organization that foster and create synergy, leading to shared knowledge and working together across organizational boundaries?  It is in answering these and other questions that we learn how to harness and unleash the power of working together.

Connect…Inspire…Be Transformed!

Published by Linda Garrett-Johnson, The Word Applied, Inc.
Copyright© 2009 Linda Garrett-Johnson & The Word Applied, Inc., All rights reserved.